Learning to Relax
March 1, 2022
Most people think that relaxation should be simple and that if they have a difficult time doing it, then something must be wrong with them. That’s not the case at all. In fact, relaxation is like any other thing we learn to do—it takes practice and intention.
Let me share with you some simple ways to make relaxation a daily practice.
Take Time to Sit Quietly Without Any Distractions
And please do not tell me you don’t have time to do this. Almost everyone has 5–10 minutes a day that they can just sit quietly and distraction-free. If you have a busy schedule, set aside this time either at the beginning of the day (before you get too busy) or in the middle of the day so you can take a break and re-balance your emotions. I would not recommend nighttime, as you will most likely fall asleep and miss the whole point of the exercise.
Simply sit in a quiet, safe, comfortable place and close your eyes. You don’t need to have music, the TV, or any other sound. Just sit in peace and quiet. It can be a bit challenging at first, but trust me, you will soon learn to love this and look forward to this time every day.
The point of sitting in stillness is to learn to go inward and to connect with yourself and your intuition. We get so busy that we forget that sometimes, what we are looking for is right inside of us. We don’t have to travel far at all.
Learn a New Breathing Technique
In a recent blog, I talk about the 3-2-1 Method, which starts with three breaths, like Box Breathing, Triangular Breathing, or even Belly Breathing. All of these will be beneficial to you in more ways than you could even imagine.
Sometimes our lives get so overwhelming, dealing with our emotions and everyone else around us that we don’t even think about our breathing. However, our autonomic nervous system is tied to our breathing mechanisms, and our nervous system is affected when our breathing gets out of whack.
The first trick is to become aware that your breathing is not normal. Then, with awareness and an effective strategy, bring your breathing back into alignment and support your nervous system. The benefits of using a breathing technique are numerous—reduced anxiety, decreased blood pressure, and emotional regulation, just to name a few. Learn more in this Scientific American article.
Do a Digital Detox
Take a break from news, social media, or any other source of public information is the first step. A really great second step? Put away your phone and other portable devices to literally unplug.
Although it can be fun to see what friends are doing or to get daily updates, the truth is that with the news, Facebook, and Twitter, you also get a lot of unwanted fear and an overload of negative content. If you are depending on these platforms for social connection and you feel that you cannot go without, then I recommend limiting your time to no more than 15 minutes a day.
If you are the type of person who always has the TV on or is constantly checking social media, this task will be challenging for sure. However, I would venture to say that if you give it just one week, you will be amazed at how much more calm you will feel.
Instead of playing/reading/staring on or at your phone, why not go outside for a walk? Or sit in your yard and watch the clouds. Sit under the trees in the park and listen to the birds, or go to the water and breathe in some fresh air. Pick up a book and get lost in a wonderful adventure for a short while, or listen to some new music on Spotify or Pandora. In essence, find healthy ways to escape the imbalance of overwhelm.
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If you can find time to do even one of these activities on a daily basis for 7 days straight, you will find that after a while, you will not be missing 24-hour news or binge-watching shows on Netflix and Hulu. Those things are fine in moderation, but being mindful provides peace and comfort.
There is almost always some way to stop, create awareness, and Connect. If you can find the time to do this every day, making yourself and your physical and emotional health a priority, you will feel a lot better. Your stress level will come down, and your attitude will rise to a place of joy and gratitude. Let the relaxation begin!
