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What are Primary and Secondary Feelings?

What are Primary and Secondary Feelings? And Why do they Matter? 

August 1st, 2022

What are Primary and Secondary Feelings?
You might be asking yourself, what’s the difference between feelings and emotions? I often lay this out for my clients by saying this… Emotions are what we label the thing we are feeling and Feelings are what physically manifest in the body. So in essence, you could tell someone you are Sad, but I would then ask, where are you feeling that sadness in your physical body? If you are sad, then you would most likely feel a tightness in your throat as you may be trying not to cry, or you could feel a heaviness in the chest which is weighing you down. Either way, you are experiencing the physical aspects of that emotion which you are labeling sadness. 



I believe that most feelings come from one of two places.  Love or Fear. Think about it. When we feel the emotions of Love, we are open, expansive, joyous, excited, giddy, nervous, happy, calm and serene. Whereas when we feel the emotions of fear, we can be anxious, nervous, depressed, panicky, irritated, frustrated, hurt or bored. We can also feel unworthy or inadequate. 

The True list of Primary Feelings/ Emotions is actually quite extensive and I do believe there is no right or wrong here on how you define primary or secondary emotions. However to simplify, let’s just use the 2 emotions I mentioned above as Primary and now, I will list the secondary emotions below, along with some wisdoms about each one. The list below comes directly from ” The Secret Language of Feelings Book” By Calvin Banyan 



  1. Sadness – “Is the voice that says I have lost someone or something that was special or important to me.”
  2. Anger – “ Is the voice that says I think that what is happening or that something that has happened to me is UNFAIR!”
  3. Guilt – “Anger has a twin sister and her name is Guilt” “Guilt is the voice that says I have been unfair to someone else.”
  4. Boredom – “ Is the voice inside that says I need to experience growth or challenge in my life.”
  5. Lonely – “Is the voice that is telling you that you need to be with someone you love and who loves’ you back.”
  6. Stress – “Is the voice that is telling you, you have too much to do!”
  7. Inadequacy – “ Is the voice in your head, telling you, I feel like there is something wrong with me.”
  8. Fearful – “Is the voice inside that is saying, I think something bad is going to happen.”
  9. Frustration – “Is the voice that says what I am doing is NOT working!”
  10. Depression – “Is the voice inside of you that says I QUIT! It hurts too much to keep trying anymore.”
  11. Sympathy– “Sympathy can cause you to feel bad, when someone else you care about is hurting. It can also activate emotions from the past through emotional resonance.”
Trauma Collapse Therapy can help you break free from your trauma.
As I mentioned above there are many, many more secondary emotions that could be spoken about, but I felt these were the ones we experience the most and the ones that might speak to the majority of people reading this blog. Yes, it is true, our feelings and emotions have a purpose and they are usually a signal from the deepest parts of ourselves and our souls which are telling us to pay attention to something. 

Many people grew up believing that their emotions were not supposed to be seen or that others did not want to be exposed to their emotions because it was inconvenient or that they were bad. However, all emotions that are based out of truth are good, even though they may not feel good. Our emotions and the feelings that accompany them are important in helping us understand what we are thinking and how we can learn from those experiences to become the best versions of ourselves. 

If you want to learn how to manage your emotions better or to even just understand them, then you may want to consider purchasing this book – “The Secret Language of Feelings” by Calvin Banyan and or scheduling some 5PATH sessions with me to address some unresolved emotional imbalances. I offer a free 30 minute consultation, which you can schedule directly on my site. I hope this article helped you and that I will hear from you soon! Paulette Deckers BCH



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